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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Guest Blogger Elizabeth Scott & Contest!

After reading Elizabeth Scott's novel, Love You, Hate You, Miss You, the thing that stuck with me the most was how our friendships really affect the type of people we become, and that teenage relationships are even more complex because they're often heavily influenced by peer pressure, insecurities and the need to belong. I asked her to write a guest post on this topic which she most graciously agreed to do.


BFFs Forever!.... Until You Aren't
by Elizabeth Scott

One of the things I thought about as I was writing Love You Hate You Miss You was friendships---and what it's like to lose one. In Love You Hate You Miss You, Amy struggles to cope with the loss of Julia, her best friend and the person who meant everything to her -- even as she's starting to realize that their "perfect" friendship wasn't quite as perfect as she thought it was.

And that realization, I think, is almost as disturbing for Amy as the loss of Julia is.

I've written about lost friendships before, in my novel Perfect You, and I think the most important thing about that loss is how *painful* it is. And this isn't just true for teens. Even as an adult, the loss of a close friendship is almost unbearable, and you find yourself asking why? and what happened? and pouring over conversations to try and figure out what went wrong. What you did wrong.

I think all best friend relationships--among teenagers and adults--are intense and incredibly emotional because your best friend is THE person you turn to. And when that person is gone, a part of you is gone as well.

I love writing love stories, but I'm also very drawn to writing about friendships--and in particular, about the ones that fall apart, because the pain of that loss isn't one that can be cured. Time may take most of the sting away, but there is always a part of you that misses that person. They will always have a tiny part of your heart.

THANK YOU ELIZABETH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO STOP BY!

Love You, Hate You, Miss You -It's been seventy-five days. Amy's sick of her parents suddenly taking an interest in her. And she's really sick of people asking her about Julia. Julia's gone, and Amy doesn't want to talk about it. No one knew Julia like she did. No one gets what life is without her.

No one understands what it's like to know that it's all your fault.

Amy's shrink thinks she should keep a journal but instead, Amy starts writing letters to Julia. And as she writes letter after letter, she begins to realize that the past holds its own secrets--and that the present deserves a chance.

As a special bonus, Elizabeth is giving me the opportunity to give one lucky winner a SIGNED copy of Love You, Hate You, Miss You! In order to enter, all you have to do is leave a comment telling us about your BFF's -for example, do you have a friend whose friendship has been especially meaningful in your life, or is there a friend you no longer have that you miss? Leave a comment about them or anything else that's topic related and you'll be entered.

Entries are limited to the US only and the contest ends September 4th 2009. NOTE: THIS CONTEST HAS CLOSED

Good Luck everyone!


45 comments:

D Swizzle said...

I have a friend who's seriously the best guy on the planet. He listens to me whenever I'm having one of those girl-crisises I know he doesn't understand, sticks by me whenever my social standing is plumeted due to some cat fight or another, and offers to beat up any ex-boyfriends whenever they BECOME ex-boyfriends. He's like the older brother my mom forgot to have. I love that kid, and if he were to leave, I seriously don't think I could handle it. =]

Unknown said...

My best friend is strangely my husband's little sister. We clicked as friends almost instantly, and have so much in common. I can talk to her about any thing. Sadly, she just moved to OH so we do not get to talk as much. But we are thinking about moving up there soon so maybe it will all work out for the best.

Kate
neverendingshelf@gmail.com

Just Your Typical Book Blog said...

This is my favorite book of Elizabeth's so far, and I loved reading the guest blog!

Amber

Erica said...

My best friend is one of my friends I met in kindergarten, she lived down the streeet and we always hung out. We're really close still years later, and I honestly cannot imagine myself with her not in it.


:) Erica
thebookcellar@wi.rr.com

Anonymous said...

My best friend Kiki and I started our blog together! We call each other soulmates because no one else gets our wierdness lol

tashiluvsu@live.com

holdenj said...

What a great guest blog, I really enjoyed reading it.

I eventually lost touch withe a couple BFF's after my family moved 1000 miles away. I miss that shared history we had from elementary school and sometimes I wonder if Carole or Ann ever think of the fun we had and school carnivals and the like.

Would love to win and read this!

JHolden955 (at) gmail (dot) com

Thanks.

AnAddictedBookReader said...

I love Elizabeth Scott's books and really want to win this! My BFF is awesome. We have so much things in common it's ridiculous plus she lives like a minute away so that's sweet : )
adrienne2093(at)comcast(dot)net

Mozi Esme said...

Facebook has really made it easy to reconnect and stay in touch with old friends, but I'm thinking of one of my friends from high school, and college roommate, who doesn't have time for facebook these days with triplets and one other little one. Wishing we both had more time to stay in touch...

janemaritz at yahoo dot com

cait045 said...

I have 5 best friends that I cannot live without. For the last 4 years we have been attached at the hip but we just graduated college and now all seperated now. It is really hard to be apart but we get together as much as possible and talk on the phone all the time.

usignolc(at)yahooDOTcom

Libby's Library said...

I have a friend, who will always be "my best". We now live hundreds of miles apart, but are as close as ever. We lived 5 minutes from each other for 27 years, and I could always count on her if I needed anything...I still can!

libneas[at]aol[dot]com

JJ said...

My best friends are my daughters. I have online friends and long time friends but my girls are the best. Thanks.

gahome2mom/at/gmail/dot/com

April (BooksandWine) said...

My best friends are awesome! I see them rarely, but when I do it's crazyyy. We do silly things like drive from NY to FL, play drinking Monopoly, and battle each other with plastic lightsabers, I love that with my friends we can just goof off and be silly, no need to be adults.

goodbooksandgoodwine(at)gmail(dot)com

wheresmyrain said...

i have a friend who I met in fourth grade and she has lived all over the world, but whenver she's in the US, she makes time to see me, and we are honestly just as caring/connected, no matter if its been years or months i stil count her as a Best friend where/forever

wheresmyrain(at)yahoo(dot)com

Cecelia said...

My best friend is my younger sister. We were especially close in high school and college, but the last three years we've lived very far apart. I miss her like crazy, and only see her twice a year or so...it's not enough! The phone and chatting help, but there's nothing like midnight conversations in the dark when you're supposed to be asleep.

celialarsen(at)gmail(dot)com

Valorie said...

I am not good with making friends, so my BFF is my older sister. I think it helps up be close that we grew up together and shared so many of the same experiences.


Valorie
morbidromantic@gmail.com

Wrighty said...

Great contest! Thanks so much for the offer! I have a couple of BFFs. My hubby of 23 years, we met in 11th grade, he's always been there for me and supported me in some hard time. My girl BFFs are two girlfriends that I've had since 3rd and 6th grade, we are still close and have a long history together. My newest BFF is a friend I met while we were both having our first child and we really bonded as we both had three boys all the same ages. It made a huge difference having someone who has always gone through the same things at the same times with our kids. I've been very blessed!

5wrights1[at]verizon[dot]net

Sage Ravenwood said...

My best friend has encouraged me to the point I believed in myself and my writing. I can't imagine being where I am right now without him.
It's amazing how much I've come to trust and appreciate his opinions in such a short time. Life has such a strange way of introducing those people we need in our lives the most.
Thanks for the opportunity! Indigo

ravensquietscreams@gmail.com

jpetroroy said...

I had best friend in high school who I unfortunately lost touch with. However, we reconnected just before my wedding, which was wonderful.
-JenP
jpetroroy@gmail.com

Esme said...

I had a friend when I was a teenager-we would do everything together-learnt everything together-and what we did not know her cousin would tell us. Unfortunatly as we got older she married young and was quite religious and one day I felt she judged me which she had never done before and our friendship just drifted away. I still think of her.

chocolateandcroissants at yahoo dot com

Jess said...

My best friend, is also my hero. He's in the United States Army Reserve, and is one of the best guys I know. He's the one that I know without a doubt will always be there for me. He always comes over to stay the night with me when I can't sleep, and he always makes sure I'm taking care of myself. He's going to be deployed at the end of December, and I don't know how I'm going to survive a year without him.

Email: findtimetoread(@)gmail(.)com

Sab H. said...

My best friend and I have been friends for almost 18 years. We're no longer together b/c I moved to the US 2 years ago. I was always the trouble one and he was the trouble fixer. Not anymore. He has now a drug problem since I left and I have blamed myself since I heard about it, even though I'm not sure how long its been going on. The truth is I don't want to see him like he is now. And yes, I miss him like crazy. I know I'll go back one day and find him clean.

crystalreviews[at]gmail.com

Beth (BBRB) said...

My childhood BFF and I lost touch after she got married and started having kids. It was unfortunate, but some people don't value their friends as much as husbands.

BethsBookReviewBlog AT gmail DOT com

Linna said...

My high school teacher is my firend. I don't see her much but we call each other and talk overnight a lot. It's really nice to have a friendship that goes beyond age and status.

linna.hsu AT gmail DOT com

Beth said...

I met my bf in 3rd grade. She was my bathroom buddy! We still are BFs 32 years later.

lizzi0915 at aol dot com

Dani. said...

Growing up my best friend (lets call her "Michelle") and me were inseperable. Ever since 2nd grade when she moved here we did practically everything together! Then all of a sudden in the summer going into high-school she changed, she wasnt the same friend who we had spent hours creating our imaginary D.M. (Dead Man) together with, or made a 10 min. long song about my fat cat Sally, i know its a cliche but high-school tore our friendship apart. I was left wondering what happened. Now don't get me wrong we both still have friends, I personally love mine, but Im always left feeling a little nostalgic when I think about my friendship with Michelle. I cant help but to miss what will probably have been my best friend I will ever have. :(

Okay sad story done.
Dani.

lightningstreak123@comcast.net

Debs Desk said...

I had a BFF for about 15 years we had a falling out about 4 years ago. I went to her house to try to get things worked out and she had moved. Please include me in your giveaway.
Thanks
Debbie
debdesk9(at)verizon.net

Gaby317 said...

I moved around a lot - from Boston to Philippines to different schools in the US (NH, CT), to the Philippines for 12 years and back to the US (PA, MA, NY). Each time that I'd have settled in and made very close friends, I'd soon be moving.

I have a number of best friends that I've lost touch with and miss. One in particular was a close friend in law school and after - he was a few years ahead of me in law school so I would hear things through him before I'd go through them and it made them less scary. The bar exam, looking for work, starting at the law firm, dealing with partners, etc. Even getting engaged and getting married, each step in our lives. We used to jog every weekend for an hour out by our old law school and catch up, grab lunch.

I'm godmother to their first child and had been part of their wedding party. I've lost touch since I'd moved to the US, it's hard with the 12 hour difference and expensive phone rates and things were quite lean with my periods of job hunting in the US.

I miss him a lot now and miss having a close male friend that was sort of like an elder brother. His email address doesn't work anymore and I'd changed my phone number. I sometimes get emails from his wife, but it's not the same.

Thanks for the entry.

gaby317nyc AT gmail DOT com

Anonymous said...

I grew up with a boy best friend. (Odd only because I was a girl.) We played together, had totally g-rated sleepovers, even attended each other's birthday parties, but it was all semi-secret. Both of us were tired of "K**** has a boyfriend" and "J*** has a girlfriend" by age 7! We were close until college and I still miss him!
kjgpinelake[AT]yahoo[DOT]com

luckygirl1112 said...

Oh I have two best friends. Each have different qualites that make them each unique but are not really compatable with eachother but I love them anyways. They are two very awesome people and I trust them completely.

jfgirl@hughes.net

Megan said...

I have 4 best friends. One of them is my mom. She is always there for me. My other best friend is my boyfriend. I love that I get to live with my best friend and soulmate. Another best friend is my college roommate. Unfortunately she moved far away so I don't see her as often as I like. My last best friend also lives far away. I love talking to him. He always gives the best advice and is so witty. All my best friends make me laugh. I can always count on them. I love them all!

Megan
Megala872@aol.com

minishoes1 said...

I have a friend named, Sharon. WE have been friends since we were 5 yrs old and have been through alot together-marriages,kids,and breakups-We don't see eah other like we used to, one day when we get the time and money we want to go on a cruise.thanks! jacquecurl1@gmail.com

~The Book Pixie said...

I don't have any bestfriends and it is something I really prefer not to talk about. However I do have on good guy friend. Unfortunately he recently left for college and we only talk through IM now.

Can you believe I've never read an Elizabeth Scott book? Hey, don't look at me like that. I know it is a crying shame but I'm trying to make up for it. Her books sound great and I'd love to read this.

~Briana
thebookpixie[at]yahoo[dot]com

Kimberly B. said...

I have had the same best friend for over 25 years. She and I met when I switched into a new PE class, and nobody wanted either of us on their volleyball team. We used to write stories together and play Dungeons and Dragons. Our friendship is changing these days, because I moved to another state and she started a family, but I don't think these changes have to end a friendship. A good friendship can adapt as people change and grow.

Krista said...

I have two Best Friends that I moved away from about three years ago. I live in NC now and they live in Texas! It's so far away but we still talk on the phone and stuff and I miss them dearly!

Thank you for this contest my email is kristacole64(at)yahoo(dot)com

heatherzilla said...

I have moved a lot due to military life, and did not always keep in contact with friends. I have missed my friends and it is always hard to leave friends behind and try to make new ones. I am now using facebook to reconnect with old friends.

L said...

I currently have one best friend. My other best friend moved away many years ago and we tried to keep in touch, but it didn't work out. I still think about her once in a while and I'm sad that we didn't stay in touch more.

lovinfitch(at)aol(dot)com

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