Guest Post with Gail Carriger, Author of Soulless

Since I write comedy and alternate history, I spend a good deal of time investigating historical quirks. One of my favorite things to do is take vampires and werewolves and make them responsible for the most unexplainable facts and ridiculous minutia of the ancient world.

Why? Because werewolves and vampire are intrinsically absurd. For example: Have you ever worn fangs? Well I have, and there's quite the adjustment period resulting in a tender lower lip and a pronounced lisp. Thus, newly minted vampires are obviously going to lisp. Those with longer fangs may even drool a bit. You see? Comedy gold. And werewolves? My warped little mind always jumps to other types of were-creature. How about a weresheep, a weredachshund, or a wereplatypus? A weregoat? Bahahaha! Skulks about under the full moon, viciously breaking into a girl's closet to eat all her shoes! I don't know about you, but I'm trembling in my...oh wait.

What I ended up doing for the Parasol Protectorate series was divide up world history into different camps. For some cultures this is easier than others. The Vikings, with all that hair and Fenrir and everything, were definitely werewolf oriented. The Romans, being decadent, incestuous, and obsessed with luxury goods, were trafficking with vampires. I'm inclined to think the Greeks were altogether anti-supernatural because of their obsession with human perfection. The Ancient Egyptians had animal headed gods, so I come right back to werewolves. Catholic Inquisition? Now we can all guess what that was really about!

And then I sally forth into the unexplainable: how did tiny Britain manage to conquer an empire? Because they were the first culture to integrate vampires (as political advisors) and werewolves (as military agents) fully into their society. This, coincidentally, also explains King Henry VIII's break with the Catholic Church (the marriage thing was just a cover up) and the British Regimental system (which makes absolutely no sense until you realize it's based on pack dynamics).



But what about that minutia you mentioned, Ms. Carriger? Well, Gentle Reader, here are some quick thoughts.

1. Russian folk dancing = squarely at the werewolf door.

2. Bet I can guess who started the whole "quenching a sword in blood" rumor.

3. Retsina, metaxa and ouzo = cruel tricks played on the Greeks by the vampires.

4. Absurdly high cravats , well, they hide neck bites now don't they?

5. Ever wonder why Italian food has so much garlic in it? Anti-vampire protection. Go pesto go, rah rah rah!

6. That phrase "born with a silver spoon" takes on a whole new meaning if there are werewolves running around.

7. And what about the term "Dark Ages?"

8. I leave you with one final thought: Scottish haggis and blood pudding. 'Nuff said.

Ms. Carriger began writing in order to cope with being raised in obscurity by an expatriate Brit and an incurable curmudgeon. She escaped small town life and inadvertently acquired several degrees in Higher Learning.

Ms. Carriger then traveled the historic cities of Europe, subsisting entirely on biscuits secreted in her handbag. She now resides in the Colonies, surrounded by a harem of Armenian lovers, where she insists on tea imported directly from
London and cats that pee into toilets. She is fond of teeny tiny hats and tropical fruit. Soulless is her first book.

Gail Carriger is the author of Soulless a novel of vampires, dirigibles, and parasols due out Oct. 1, 2009 from Orbit US. You can find Gail on her website, livejournal, blogspot, Facebook, and Twitter.